Ashton's Tale of Love
by Thingy The Blob
Summary: Ashton's two true loves both love Claude. Quite a coincidence, don't you think? AshtonRena or Precis, wait to find out! Help on Italics with .txt please! R
1. Default Chapter

-sigh- So this is how it is to be, eh? Both my loves, all going for Claude...  
  
"-snicker- Hehe... Poor Ashton... His love life all messed up." Was the quick tease by a red, fire breathing dragon head sticking out of the dreamer's back, Gyoro.  
  
"Damnit, Gyoro, stop interfering with my thoughts!" The young swordsman shouted, scaring the nearby animals.  
  
Our favorite dragon possessed, brown haired, barrel obsessed swordsman who is enveloped in an aura of bad luck is thinking about the two girls whom he had feelings for during his travels. First, the blue haired heroine whom seemed to shyly take intrest in Claude, second, the hyper active tornado known as Precis who openly admits her crush on a "regulated basis".  
  
Hmph, no privacy with these guys around. Why me...  
  
"We can still hear you..." Ururun, the other dragon head which was a pale blue which looked almost purple and ice breathing, was also on Ashton's back. The 2 dragon heads had been his companion for a long time.  
  
"Ugh! Can I hide ANYTHING from you two?! Like, maybe, where I stashed my secret stash of hamburgers!" Ashton complained, remembering the time when all his hamburger patties went without a trace, with two particular dragon heads being all oily.  
  
"Um... We actually guessed where it is-Inside your favorite barrel." Gyoro quickly said, trying to prove a point.  
  
"Besides, we were hungry and we could smell good food a mile away!" Added Ururun.  
  
Obviously, Ashton still has yet to get over his obsession with barrels. Ever since the battle with the wise men, Ashton settled in the kingdom of Cross, where he serves the king as a mercenary to live a life. Ever since the Ten Wise Men were defeated, monsters stopped raiding trading caravans. This may seem to be a good thing, but this also meant they stopped holding Fol, the currency of Expel. Ashton has to make a living by working the hard way, rather than slaying demons and... Cute... Fluffy... I mean BIG, SCARY rabbits for money.  
  
"I wonder if Claude has made his mind about which girl to marry..." Ashton said to himself.  
  
"Hey, why don't you go check instead of filling our ears with your mindless talking?" Gyoro growled.  
  
"Gyoro is right! Stop mumbling like an idiot and take some action!" Ururun aided.  
  
"But..." Ashton hesitated, seeing the truth in that. "I need to work here! I can't neglect work or else how are we going to survive?"  
  
"Um... Ever heard of hunting? Also, due to the lack of monsters, the Funnythieves had been loaded with cash. I'm sure if we hunt down a few we'd have all the travelling expenses we need." Answered Gyoro.  
  
Ashton thought it over, and made up his mind. "Alright, let's go. We'll report to the king of Cross about our trip, and we leave tomorrow morning!"  
  
"That's the spirit!" Ururun cheered.  
  
"Um... Guys..."  
  
"Yes, Ashton?" Gyoro growled, seemingly annoyed.  
  
"Where are we going to get the supplies... IN MIDDLE OF THE WINTER WHEN THERE'S NO TRADERS WHO SELL CAMPING GEAR AROUND?!"  
  
And so, they all sweat dropped, and Ashton's quest to find his heart's desires(no, not barrels) started. 


	2. Ch 1: The Preparations

Last time we left off, our barrel obsessed hero was planning a trip, but has difficulties due to the fact that it is winter, and no merchants, traders, shop keepers, whateveryoucallthems and random NP-I mean citizens off the streets that sells camping gears. Without camping gears, our hero, Ashton, will have to endure the cold. But he hates the cold, so now let us see what he has planned for today.  
  
"Ashton! You can't be serious!"  
  
"Gyoro is right! How are THOSE going to protect you from the cold?!"  
  
"Calm down, guys, it will work perfectly! Trust me!" Was Ashton's defense. But what had he been planning? "Guys, gimme a moment and my greatest invention will come to existance! The... BARREL TENT!"  
  
Little did our hero know, that his invention will soon to be of little use.  
  
But Gyoro is aware, and so he sayeth: "Ashton... The barrels are made of wo-"  
  
"NOT JUST ANY WOOD! This barrel tent is made of the greatest wood of all-The Wood of Yggdrasil!"  
  
"Ashton, it says 'Made In Canada, using Maple Wood'" Gyoro corrected.  
  
"Bah, so I was ripped off again!" Grunted Ashton.  
  
"Ashton, we warned you..."  
  
"Ugh, then my plan won't work!"  
  
"Ashton... Your plan was really, REALLY poorly designed..." Ururun began to talk, after a long silence from his part.  
  
"Ugh, whatever, how are we going to survive in the blizzard now?"  
  
"Well, we COULD use Gyoro's breath to keep us warm..."  
  
"But its freezing COLD outside! I won't be able to survive if I use my body heat like that!"  
  
"This is so troublesome..."  
  
But at that moment, a door-to-door salesman barged in.  
  
"H-hey! Who told you you could come into my home like this?!" Ashton screamed, startled at the sudden appearance of this door-to-door salesman.  
  
"Ah, hello my good friend, I am Precis's agent. Would you like to buy one of Precis Brand snow mobiles? They are quickly rising in popularity, and get one now while the limited special offer price lasts! Only 500 thousand fol!" Said the salesman, in a cheery manner.  
  
But in Ashton has other things on his mind: Precis... She has finally succeeded in making her own product?! Oh boy, how is he going to get her attention now? She'll never settle for a mercenary like him if she is now a wealthy owner of a whole new brand of products.  
  
"Sir? Would you like to buy one? Sir? Hello? SIR?!"  
  
"Oh! Sorry, there were things on my mind. But... Sure, I'll buy that snow mobile!"  
  
"Oh my god! My first sale EVER! Thank god somebody is going to buy this explosive piece of-er, I mean, this excellent snow travelling mobile!" Came the relieved voice of the salesman.  
  
Ashton felt relieved that she HADN'T succeed after all... So he happily paid the salesman and kicked him out.  
  
"Yes! Now all we need is-"  
  
But he was cut off by a knock.  
  
"Hello Mr... Anchors? Special Delivery from Claude Kenni, he wishes to give you a parting gift before he leave, and he is leaving in approximately 3 weeks. The box he gave you is packed with Earth products that he had in his pockets, including an instant tent package. The message he delivered was "Just Add Water". Whatever that means, I do not understand. But please, take this burden off of me so I can deliver my next package." Blabbered the monotoned delivery man.  
  
"Oh my god! Everything is set for us!" Ashton shouted in joy, as the delivery man knocked all the slush off of his boots on Ashton's carpet, and running afterwards.  
  
"We're all set to go!" Claimed both dragons at once.  
  
So, our hero leaves, continuing his quest. Little did he know, he could've just waited 3 weeks, but he went on his journey anyways. Stay tuned to see what fools will make fools out of their foolish selves in front of Ashton, who will also eventually make a fool of himself. Also, he hadn't realized the millions upon millions of Fol he has in his basement, and took only the 10 thousand fol in his wallet. May luck be with our hero, Ashton Anchors, for we may never hear from him again... 


	3. Ch 2: Oh lovely snow, outside of Cross

Last we left off, our hero Ashton Anchors took 10 thousand fol out of his millions upon millions. He also brought along a snow mobile bought from one of our female focuses-Precis, and an Instant Tent Package, from Claude as a parting gift. 3 weeks will be all thats left til Claude leaves. The message with the Instant Tent Package was "Just add water". Will our hero figure out what that means in this chapter? Read on to find out!  
  
After quite a few silent moments later, Ururun noticed something funny, and broke the silence.  
  
"Hey, Ashton, are you sure you didn't forget the manual that comes with this thing?"  
  
"So what if I forgot, I can drive this just right!" Ashton replied angrily.  
  
"Fine, fine, we believe you."  
  
Ashton then TRIED to prove our dragon friends wrong, but... He pressed the self-destruct button, and our one and only method of travelling without feet is gone.  
  
"Ok, that was a bad move there Ashton!"  
  
"Don't rub it in my face!" The charred Ashton snapped.  
  
"Fine, fine!"  
  
So, they left Cross with all the people looking at Ashton with funny expressions. Ashton stepped into the snowy fields outside, and found an assassin looking for him. However, it was an apprentice assassin, and the conversation fits this story quite nicely.  
  
"For my honor and my clan's honor! I shall kill you!" The assassin greeted, with a fake Japanese accent.  
  
"Ashton, he's a weakling, push him aside and go on..." Growled Ururun, annoyed.  
  
"You dragon, shall be slain by me, along with the boy!" Still in a Japanese accent the assassin spoke.  
  
"Boy? You look 14!"  
  
"You, sir, are a boy! Do not make me attack you!"  
  
"Aren't you going to attack me anyways?"  
  
"Uh... Yes! Ofcourse!"  
  
Ashton realized the assassin's stupidity. The assassin is an apprentice, and he is a wannabe ninja. Ashton smacked the 14 year old around a bit with the flat of his blade, gaining some pleasure out of an otherwise boring trip.  
  
"Ugh! I shall not forget your face, whatever your name is!" The assassin threatened, almost as if he is crying.  
  
"Ok boy, come back with your mommy next time." Ashton answered before leaving.  
  
As Ashton left, the boy tried to stab Ashton, but failed miserably as he was flung around by Gyoro who was slowly freezing and needed some movement to warm up. Ashton however thought it was just Gyoro and Ururun fighting, so he kept on walking towards the lovely village that Rena was in. Eventually, they came to a halt, and our hero can see the sunset.  
  
"Ashton, let's set up camp here!" Ururun answered.  
  
"Y...y...yea, p-p-p-please! I can't s-s-s-stand m-m-m-more of this!" Gyoro answered, shivering and chittering.  
  
"Alright guys, I need some food too." Ashton agreed.  
  
Ashton took out the hero of our previous adventure's gift. The Instant Tent Package. Just Add Water. However, Ashton has no water with him.  
  
"Ok, any of you two have any idea how we can get some water? All the waters been frozen!"  
  
"Ashton, maybe Gyoro can melt some ice!"  
  
"Well, that is if he melts himself first." Ashton replied, pointing at the frozen stiff Gyoro.  
  
"Ok, how about your spit?"  
  
"I can't spit out enough!"  
  
They thought about this over, and Ururun had an idea. Ururun took out an onion, bit it in half, and place one half on his eyes and the other half on Ashton's eyes. They cried, and they cried, they just cried and cried and cried. Finally, their tears managed to open up the package.  
  
"Ururun, I HATE YOU!" Ashton barked after that little plan.  
  
"We got our tent, let's go in!"  
  
Our heroes rested at the tent, with Gyoro unthawed. So, that ends this chapter without any humor, action, suspense, or romance. Damn this chapter sucks! Blam this chapter! Burn it! Destrooooy it! 


End file.
